About Face

Everyone seems to be writing blogs about Facebook these days - and I guess that's because we're all on it. And when I say all, I mean EVERYONE. My "friends" include a vast array of people from high school, my husband, my many siblings, my dad and friends from Milwaukee, Los Angeles, DC, Portland and everywhere in between. I was late in joining FB because I already had a MySpace account and it took so much work...I was reluctant to commit to yet another social networking site. But then my oldest (and often wisest) friend, Jillet, commanded me to join and I think I've been back on MySpace three times since. I thought - how simple and fun! And the crazy number of high school people adding me as a friend at all times of the day and night was astounding. It was like a virtual high school reunion except surprisingly enjoyable (even while sober).

But something has changed. I've realized that my "friends" list now includes my parents' friends, the minister who married us (although he is tres cool), friends of friends with whom I am only the merest of acquaintances, my Mormon aunt who says in her "25 random things" note that swearing "jars her soul," etc. You know - people that I don't necessarily need to have reading my latest status about my mini-crush on Eric Ripert (he's so hot in a perfectly polished and amazing chef kind of way) or seeing the middle school-era pictures of me posted by others or following my conversations about good break-up-and-make-up songs. It's really just TMI.

The way I see it, I have two choices: 1) I can censor myself more or 2) I can deny their friend requests. Either way, I don't like it. I'm very congnizant of the fact that FB is a public forum so it's not like I'm putting all my biznass up there for people to see, but I'd like to be able to say "effing" or "boobs" without worrying that somehow I'm offending people. And isn't it just flat-out rude to deny the friend request of someone I know (or kinda know)?

My panties are all in a bunch about this because some woman who was friends with my mom when I was a little kid (and is still close with one of my dad's friends) just sent me a friend request. I am 34 years old and I have not seen or spoken to this woman since I was probably 7 or 8. Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? I don't want to accept her as my friend on FB, but my older sister E says I have to out of politeness. Dude says I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. What to do?

For now I'm ignoring her friend request. I mean, I could accept her and it would
probably be no big deal, but it really feels like a line has been crossed. I want to frolic online without the pressure of censure! I want FB to be fuuuuunnnn! Sigh. I'm sure this is no big deal and I'm wasting a ton of energy by fixating on it.

1 comments:

Librarian Girl said...

My saving grace was when I found out that I could accept a friend request, and then wait a while, and then delete the friend. The person doesn't get notified when you delete them, so they most likely won't even notice.

I know there are people who have unfriended me and I have never noticed.

I don't know, that might be just as rude. *shrug*