It's New Year's Eve and I wish that I was going to tell you about the exciting plans that Dude and I have tonight - something involving having a babysitter, getting dolled up and going out to act like fools. Alas. That is not the case. Our big plans? Take-out after the girls are asleep. Dude mentioned something about having a quiet evening by the fire. I don't know how to say this any more clearly - NO. I will not spend my evening reading on the love seat on one side of the fire while he lies on the other love seat reading his book. Do you remember that scene from Singles where they're sitting at the table reading the paper and Kyra Sedgwick is bored out of her skull? That's what that sounds like to me. I will not allow it. I'm thinking maybe I'll get all dressed up, "spin" some tunes, open wine and have a dance party. He can join me if he wants. Otherwise, I'll act the fool by myself. Someone has to.

Part 1: Christmas recap

Some dear friends of mine in LA, Ashley and Josh, just had twins. They'd been asking questions and I'd been offering my "sage" advice ever since they found out their dilemma/wonderful news. When she was 29 weeks along, Ashley went into labor. Modern medicine was able to almost stop it and she was put on strict bed rest. When I say "almost" stop it, I mean she wasn't dilating and stuff, but she still had regular contractions and was EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Josh was as amazing as humanly possible, looking after Ashley's every want and need. What an adorable couple! At 36.5 weeks (yes, the poor dear kept those babes in the oven for another 7.5 weeks of slow, slow LABOR), she was actually induced because she was having quite a bit of swelling in one leg. Then Ashley and Josh essentially went dark, not to resurface for two weeks with the whole story. We (their friends) knew that the babies had been born, but no names, no details, no joyous pictures were shared. I was beyond worried. After several days, Josh posted something on Facebook basically saying that the babies were wonderful and that they'd get back to us soon. As I said, it took two weeks. Their story is unbelievable. It is heart-wrenching and joyous and terrifying and WILL MAKE YOU CRY. For those of you who are pregnant and are not heeding my warning to stay away from this story (you know who you are), rest assured that all's well that ends well and it does end well. But FUCK, man. What a story.

"Baby Jesus on porch wearin' washcloth. Baby Jesus daddy [is] Santa Claus. Santa Claus sleigh jingle bells; ding-a-ling-a-ling! Santa Claus bringin' pretzels. Thanks, Santa Claus!"

We went out for sushi tonight and Dude asked the girls if they wanted "edamame beans." The Bug said, "Huggle Mommy beans? Yes! Want Huggle Mommy beans!"