Belly and The Bug: July 2009

Rocky Raccoon

A large raccoon lives in our neighborhood. I found this out before we even moved in. Jonas and Judy spent a night here in our sun room during Bri's graduation weekend and they told me they saw it in the yard. Then Dude saw it in the tree shortly after we moved in. It's a big sucker. THEN we heard it one night in the kiddie pool having a grand time with the tupperware the girls had left in there. But today a line has been crossed. The little bastard was playing in the kiddie pool first thing this morning in broad daylight. Dude had to chase it away with a stick. Aren't they supposed to be nocturnal? WTF? Rocky wasn't too cool about being removed from his fun new play space either. He was a little aggressive toward Dude. All of this = NOT COOL.

I called Multnomah County Animal Services and they told me to call the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife. Which I did. And I was told that not only do they not deal with stuff like this, but there isn't an agency that does. She suggested that I trap the raccoon myself and find someone to euthanize it. And what they will do to help is issue me a permit to do the trapping. Um, okaaaaaay. That's not happening. Does one post an ad on Craigslist to find someone to euthanize a raccoon?

For the love of all things holy. Belly is standing on one side of my chair and the Bug just came up to the other. They are pooping AT THE SAME TIME. Ugh. Twins. I've gotta go...

Hi. I've missed you.

The Heat Miser has been having some fun with Portland this week. We've had record-setting temps for the last few days - 103, 106, 106 again. All of this equals, well...pure hell. You see, most houses (including ours) and many, many businesses do not have air conditioning because it's not usually necessary except for a few days each year. To make matters worse, I am VERY VERY whiney in extremes of hot and cold. I become incredibly lethargic and am hard-pressed to get anything accomplished - like getting dressed, eating, etc. I have had to suck it up, though, because of these little girls and we have been incredibly focused on staying cool. I even organized a trip to the coast with several other moms and kids day before yesterday. When all else failed, we hung out in the family room, which is our finished basement, because it was only in the 80s down there. Dude has been working at coffee shops all week to find some reprieve from the heat. Our main floor has been hitting 100 degrees mid-afternoon and upstairs (where you can find Dude's office and our bedrooms) has been easily 110. I wish this was an exaggeration. We've all been sleeping in the family room and first thing every morning, I've been getting everything we need for the day from upstairs.

This is my long explanation as to why I haven't been blogging. I've been too hot. Seriously. That's it. There's not a table in the family room upon which to put my laptop and it's simply been too hot to have it on my lap. Then, this morning, it wasn't so hot. I checked the forecast, even though I'd last checked it last night about 11pm AND IT HAD BEEN CHANGED! Instead of a high of 100, it's 94. YESSSSSS! So here I am. And there you are. Hi. How are you? I like your shirt.

It took us FOREVER to get home from Wisconsin. We ended up sitting in the Minneapolis airport for three hours before they put us on the plane - they needed to fix an engine gauge. It would've been fine, but they started getting dumb about it. They would make an announcement saying what time they were going to give us an update and put that time up on the monitor, but when that time came, they wouldn't give an update and just changed the time on the monitor to half an hour later. This created very cranky travelers and could have been easily avoided. The last time they did this, I thought there was going to be anarchy. When the newly appointed time of 5pm rolled around, most people stood and glared toward the desk. But the woman behind the counter picked up her little microphone and said, "We'll begin boarding first class..." and there was a loud sigh of relief in the gate area. I feared she was going to be taken down if she said that we still didn't know when the repairs would be complete. Nice save, lady.

It was a very full plane and people were practically jubilant to be boarding. We all took our seats quickly and then...nothing happened. We waited. And waited. And waited. There was no announcement from the cockpit. Nothing. The flight attendants walked through the plane with water and cups. People started demanding to know what the HELL was going on here. Forty-five minutes after we boarded the plane, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the delay. The plane is in perfect condition, but the catering truck broke down on the way to our plane and that delay caused another problem. This flight crew cannot go to Portland because we will be exceeding the FAA-mandated length of a duty day. So...we're waiting for a new flight crew to come on board and take you to Portland. I'm waiting for a call back from the airport's crew captain to let me know when they'll be getting here. Sorry about that, folks." And so we got up and walked with the girls. I went into the back of the plane to get some water. People were helping themselves to peanuts and sodas and $5 snack-packs. Anarchy had indeed taken over. One of the flight attendants came in back to get her stuff before deplaning and she had to ask nicely to get to the cooler where her thermos was kept. She didn't make eye-contact and moved quickly. None of this was her fault, but she was no dummy. The new crew finally arrived - an hour and 45 minutes after we'd boarded, nearly 5 hours since we were scheduled to depart - and they passed out $100 vouchers and free headsets to everyone. Instant heroes. Dude complained at the Portland airport and they gave us each additional $250 vouchers. The biggest saving grace? Neither girl pooped during the whole ordeal. Brilliant.

Here's a funny aside: When we were checking in at the Green Bay airport, Dude put one of our suitcases up on the scale, then took it off and put up the other, then took it off and put Belly up there. He was all, "Ooops!" with a big grin to the woman at the counter. "That's probably breaking a ton of rules, huh?" And she confirmed that it was. So he took her off and put the Bug on the scale so we could see how much she weighed, too. The woman behind the counter just cooed over how cute they were. You gotta love small town airports. And for the record, they each weigh 26 pounds even.

Here are a coupla pictures from our trip:

Classic Wisconnie pics

The Bug

Belly (with Dude)

Boating family

(you may notice that is the same boat from the Bond film "Live and Let Die" - how very tres cool of my in-laws when they bought it 25ish years ago)

Both girlies

Aren't the girls adorable?? That's a rhetorical question. I'm not even posting all of the ridiculously cute nudie pictures of the girls at the lake. Those will be emailed directly to the grandparents. Here are two last pics, though, from about a week before our trip.

Kissy Sissies

Delayed

We're in the Minneapolis airport, having flown here from Green Bay, and we're waiting for yet another update as to when our flight will leave. We were scheduled to depart two hours ago, but there are issues with one of the engine gauges. We'll get another status update in half an hour. Sigh. Belly is sleeping in her stroller, but Buggy won't pass out. It's a great little thing called overstimulation. She'll put her head down on my shoulder but won't close her eyes. And her mouth just keeps going, "Hat. Guy. Baby. Mama. Shoe. Lady. Anna." This last one is the result of meeting her 14-month-old cousin named Anna on this trip. Buggy couldn't get enough of her! Or her snacks. Or her sippy cup. Or her bottle. But it was really sweet to see the three tiny tots having so much fun together.

Anyway. Dude and the Bug just went to go find sandwiches. Maybe she'll fall asleep while they're gone. And if not, maybe she won't mind if I take a snooze in her stroller since she's not using it. God that'd be nice!

On the res

Northern Wisconsin is Indian country. There are a number of different tribes that have reservations here - many with glaring casinos juxtaposed against the calm beauty of the area. Another way that the reservations make money is by collecting taxes from the whiteys who live here, like my in-laws. This cottage sits on the edge of a smallish lake on the Menomonee Indian Reservation. Across the lake is the cultural center and last night the sound of drumming and singing rang out across the water for several hours. It was VERY cool. And as I stood on the dock in the dark listening, it was easy to imagine how terrifying it must've been to hear it coming your direction with a war party in tow. Even from a distance, the drum vibrated in my chest. My father-in-law noted that if there ever was an uprising against non-Indians on the reservation and we were here, Belly and the Bug would be spared because they look like little Indian girls. Great. That's so
comforting.

I'm starting to tire of being here. It gets a little overwhelming with so many people and I feel like I'm constantly having to redirect the girls. Nothing in the kitchen is child-proofed and with an open floorplan, I'm trying to be diligent in keeping them out of there. Belly likes to flip the oven light switch (conveniently located on the front of the oven door) up and down and up and down. There's a lot of baking going on and that door gets HOT. Buggy is more into starting the dishwasher and opening the cupboards with the cheese grater and cleaning supplies in them. It's fairly lame.

Aw man. I just reread that and I sound like such a whiner. It IS patience-trying to be here, but it's also pretty fun. We took the boat out earlier - just Dude and me and the girls. Each girl took a turn driving the boat with Dude and it was hysterical because they kept pushing his hands away. They certainly didn't need HIS help! And they loved the wind in their hair and flying across the lake. Belly kept shouting, "Wheeeeeee!" and Buggy repeated, "Lake! Boat! Lake! Boat!" Their wee worlds were pretty much rocked. And I made dinner for the whole clan tonight. It was a big hit. I felt appreciated. All told, it was probably the perfect amount of time to be here. Next Wisco trip, though, I've GOT to get down to the southern end of the state and see some of MY peeps!

Tales from the front

I'm here. In Wisconsin. At the cottage of my in-laws. I've consumed plenty of beer and beef since arriving on Tuesday evening. I've even had fried cheese curds and a root beer float made with frozen custard - some of the finer things in life, to be sure. The weather has been pretty damn near perfect, too - mostly sunny, warm, low humidity. Wisconsin in the summer is why people suffer through those heinous winters. Of course, I'm not one of those people. I left here in thirteen years ago and haven't looked back. It's only been a few years since my in-laws have stopped asking if we'll ever move back. They must've finally tired of hearing the same response: "No. Never."

But I digress. It's a great place to visit. The girls traveled very well on Tuesday. It was kinda funny because we spent an extra long layover in the Minneapolis airport and Belly ended up being very, very social. She mingled and twirled and worked the crowd (which is usually the Bug's specialty). At one point, she ran away from us and we called for her to come back. She stopped in front of every person seated on the way back until she received some sort of a acknowledgement from them. Then she moved on to the next. It was pretty dang cute, people! Dude joked, "Hi! I'm running for office and I'd appreciate your vote." That's exactly what it was like. The Bug watched from the safety of my knees, stunned by her sister's audacity.

We finally arrived and got to Mimi and Grandpa John's cottage around 10:15pm. Mimi had Meat Dish Supreme waiting for us. That's right - I said Meat Dish Supreme. This is Dude's favorite dish in his mother's repertoire. He ate enough of the artery-clogging concoction for the both of us and I opted to just have some delicious, delicious Riverwest Stein from Lakefront Brewery for dinner. One of us had to act responsibly after all.

It's funny about Wisconsin. Even though we are nowhere near the part of the state in which I grew up, it all kinda looks the same: rolling hills, lots of trees and farms with silos, corn fields, country highways named after every letter in the alphabet. And every time I come back, I get a feeling of anxiousness. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it's like I'm reminded of all the times I spent driving the back roads in high school, stressing about boys or Mom or something. It also reminds me of a terrible, terrible relationship that I had with a guy some years older than me right before I moved to the bustling metropolis of Milwaukee when I was seventeen. That guy messed me up in a way that is embarrassing to even think about. I loved him way more than I should have and he treated me like total crap. I moved away but still talked to him. I still pined for him. He continued to play me. Even after I started dating Dude, I thought about this guy a lot and
stayed in touch with him. I purposely lost contact with him when I moved to Los Angeles in 1996. And that was that. Until of course we reconnected on MySpace a few years ago. I was immediately reminded of how charming he is - quickly followed by what a jerk he is. ANYWAY. Driving the highways of Wisconsin reminds me of being upset with him and just driving, driving, driving while sobbing instead of going home and letting anyone know what was happening (it was something of a forbidden relationship). It was a pretty miserable time in my life. Thanks for the memories today, Highway J! Ugh. Thank the lord I'm happily married and don't have to date. I don't think I was ever very good at it.

My in-laws are wonderful, generous, loving, Christian folk. They are the epitome of doting grandparents and still treat Dude like he is the returning hero every time he comes home. They are super loving to me. So I have no doubt that I sound kinda bitchy saying that it is always slightly stressful coming to visit. There is always some comment made by Mimi (Dude's mother) that offends me. Additionally, they love to debate politics - which I am loathe to do. Tonight at dinner, John asked Mimi what topic she wanted to open for discussion. I visibly squirmed in my seat. Fortunately, my 11-year-old nephew decided that he wanted to tell everyone about the Allegory of the Cave and his take on Socrates instead. I was able to simply tune out.

Mimi never fails to crack me up, though. I hope when you picture her, you conjure up an image of a modern-day June Cleaver, complete with pearls. That's pretty close. Anyway, she told me yesterday that she has a tough time finding jeans that fit her just right. She was doing some jeans shopping for my a-little-on-the-chunky-side nephew when she realized that the jeans she purchased for him might also work for her. And they did! So she bought herself a pair and what did I think of her Husky brand adjustable-waist jeans? I had to struggle to keep from falling into a fit of giggles but remarked that they looked great. Good lord, peeps. GOOD LORD. There are still three more days here.

Testing, Testing, 1-2-3

We're heading to Wisconnie this week for five days of relaxation with the in-laws and fam. There is no Internet. (Is that a collective gasp I just heard? Or was it just the gasp inside my head?) But seeing as I have this handy dandy iPhone, I should still be able to function - I mean, connect. In fact, this is a test blog from my phone. Here's hoping AT&T works in the Big Woods!

Um, yeah

Look at this.

To the person who said they're over it: I'm over you. So there.

Uh, I'm hot

It's in the mid-90s today and we're all a little sweaty here. Surprisingly, we're not very crabby (and by "we" I mean all three of us). Things could be worse. If it was this temperature back in DC, it would be disgustingly sticky and humid, too. But this heat is making me feel mighty lazy. The girls and I went to the Children's Museum with some friends this morning and this afternoon we've done nothing. Really. Nothing. We've laid around the sun room reading and listening to music. We've eaten half a bag of Veggie Booty. I made an iced coffee. They enjoyed nice cold cups of Portland's finest water. L-A-Z-Y, I tell you!

Yesterday, the girls and I drove out to Sauvie Island to visit a friend who recently had a baby. First off, that baby was SWEET. It gave me pangs of wanting another baby. But just one. JUST ONE. I figure that I'll start working on Dude in a couple years about adopting a baby. He says that he's done with babies, but I think he's scared that it'll be like having the twins all over again - which it won't.

Second, I'd never been to Sauvie Island before. It's 10 miles NW of Portland and BEAUTIFUL - kind of a cross between rural Wisconsin and the area around Somis, CA where Dude and I were married. The island is filled with u-pick farms - berries, vegetables, fruit trees, Christmas trees. I would've loved to have picked a bunch of berries with the girls (it's blueberry, raspberry and marionberry season), but we didn't really have time. I stopped at a farm and bought two pints of blueberries and two pints of raspberries on the way home. They are, without a doubt, the best raspberries I've ever had. They are HUGE and JUICY and totally melt in the mouth. I had intended to make a cobbler or something, but Dude and I pigged out on them last night. I could've eaten a pound of them by myself. We'll have to go back out to the island and pick some soon. If "u" pick them, they are $1.75/pound. Is that cheap or what??

On a more serious note, the cleaning ladies came this morning. I SERIOUSLY love that. One cleaning lady costs the same per hour as a baby sitter. Two cleaning ladies get the job done in half the time. It's the perfect justification and I hope that I can afford it forever. SERIOUSLY. Forever.

Idyllic afternoon

My goodness today was better than yesterday! In fact, today was pretty dang good. The girls and I went to the Swap Shop this morning [interjection: it is HIlarious to get the Bug to say "Swap Shop." It comes out kind of like "Shwap Shwap."] for music time. Buggy was feeling shy and stuck close in my lap, but Belly danced and jammed out on the harmonica. Oh yes - the harmonica. All of the other kids chose shakers and bells. My little Punky Brewster chose the harmonica and SO rocked it. Then we came home and ate lunch. Then the girls napped...for 2.5 hours!! It was brilliant.

After nap, I made a big bowl of popcorn [aside: I can't give them microwave popcorn anymore because I learned they spray the inside of the bags with flame retardant so I've been using the air popper and adding butter and nutritional yeast - the BEST!] and we took it out to the back yard with a stack of kid books, two full sippy cups and big table cloth. The three of us munched our snack. We knocked back our cold ones. We watched airplanes. We read. We laid on our backs with our feet in the air and I led them in a rousing game of "Can you do this?" When all of that grew boring (which took about an hour and a half), we walked around the house and ate every single ripe blueberry off the two bushes that are growing next to the driveway. Those suckers are unbelievably sweet! Then it was time for dinner, which also equals Dude being done with work and sharing in the baby-raisin' responsibilities. Sure, sure - they were not great listeners all day (I mean, did you really expect they would've been??) but the majority of the day was fun and carefree. Tomorrow we're going to visit some friends who have just welcomed a new baby and the day after that we're going to the Children's Museum. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things continue like this.

In other news, I bought a dresser this evening (via Craigslist) from a woman whose last name is Bacon. How great is that?? Also, it's pretty safe to say that the Bug is afraid of our neighbor, Mrs. Kwok. Ugh. Oh, and also, we're going to Wisconsin next Tuesday to spend a solid 5 days with Dude's family. Wish me luck.

Twenty months old does not two years make

So why the tantrums? Seriously. Why are my girls so unbelievably cute one minute and so terrible, terrible, terrible the next?? The Bug had eight time outs today. I'm so not lying. Two of them were alone in her room. At one point, when she wouldn't stay sitting on her time out and I sat in front of her with my hand on her knees to ensure that she wouldn't get up, she laughed in my face. She leaned forward, opened her mouth really wide, and laughed like a little toddler-hell-child. I think it shows amazing restraint on my part that she didn't get a world-class spanking. AMAZING restraint. Belly pretty much sobbed for the better part of the day when I wasn't holding her. I actually intended to call references for a nanny today, but I clearly needed a nanny to help me so I could hire one. A catch-22, to be sure.

You know what's sad? They asked about D all day. At several points, Belly even banged on the kitchen door that leads down to the family/guest room and called D's name. The poor dears. They miss their cousin! And I know that's why they're being like this - they always have a day or two of crappy readjustment time after they've been around other people for an extended period. But it SUCKS. Discipline and consequences for wrong actions (biting one's sister, smashing the toy mower into the dining room wall over and over and over again, etc.) have no effect, apparently. I really have no choice but to try to referee and take it. So effing lame. Unless you have suggestions...

They're little maniacs, but they are super cute. They've started saying "Mommy" instead of "Mama" - not all the time, but about half the time. It's another step in losing their babyness. They're still giving hugs and kisses on demand and it positively melts the heart to see them kissing on each other. Little lovers. Little screaming, ill-behaved lovers.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Good lord - it's been a week!

I can't believe I haven't written in so long! But even as I start this post, I'm fading quickly. We have been unpacking and unpacking and unpacking. BLAH!!! Things are starting to take shape, though, and I've realized that while we have a lot of STUFF, we don't have a lot of FURNITURE. And the living room really, really needs some. This could prove challenging since Dude is insistent that we get stuff to go with our current couch - which doesn't really go with our new living room AT ALL. We need sorta retro/cool/big set o' stuff. I know that I will prevail (I always do) but our living room is a little echo-y until then. I saw a super cool sofa, chair and ottoman on Craigslist from the 1950s. All together it totals $550 and the upholstery is in great condition. I was all excited to go check it out in person, but then Dude said that he's a little skeeved out even thinking about used fabric furniture. I was all, "Even if it's professionally cleaned?!" And he still said yeah - kinda - maybe - it depends. Anything new that I like is going to be way out of our price range (I'm just that picky) and I don't want to wait forever. What to do? Is it gross to buy used fabric furniture? In a way, I guess it's sort of like buying a used mattress...something I would not do. Hm.

Anyway - my niece D has been here for the past week and it's been AWESOME. She's 15 and incredibly helpful with the girls and genuinely fun to hang with for me. Tonight we had Family Game Night with Mom, her boyfriend, Bri and Dan (Sissy couldn't make it) and we had SO MUCH FUN. D kept cracking me up the whole time we played Apples to Apples (a great game, btw, if you don't know about it). She's going to Mom's house tomorrow, returning Friday for three more days before she goes to see her dad in San Francisco. I'm glad I'll get her back for a few days - I'm going to miss her! Belly and the Bug are going to miss her too. They LOVE having her here. Even Dude has been enjoying her being here (he usually gets over having house guests about 3 days into it).

D and Bri and I went out last night for some drinks at Noble Rot (n/a for the girl, of course) and then to Powell's. I bought a super cool book called My Last Supper. The question was posed to a bunch of kick-ass chefs - "What would be your final meal on earth if you had the choice?" I've played this game many a time when I worked in the restaurant biz, so it was fun to see the answers given by top chefs. I highly recommend it.

This morning, D and I went to Voodoo Doughnuts and got a house-selected sampling of fried goodness and conducted our very own doughnut tasting at home with Dude. I even took notes. Here's what we ate:

1. Maple-Bacon doughnut - long doughnut with maple glaze and two strips of bacon on top. DIVINE!!

"Hello, luscious!" ~ Dude

"Even the bacon itself is really good; perfectly cooked." ~ D

"The perfect combo of sweet and salty and BACON." ~ me

2. Mango-Tango doughnut - mango jelly-filled pastry with mango sugar and white frosting on top.

"A little sweeter than I usually like." ~ Dude

"Not my favorite." ~ D

"The stuff on top is too tart." ~ me

3. McMinnville Cream doughnut - cream-filled with maple frostingf

"Now THAT'S a nice cream doughnut." ~ me

4. Old Dirty Bastard doughnut - doughnut with chocolate frosting, crushed-up Oreos and peanut butter drizzle

"Tastes like a peanut butter cup for sure." ~ Dude

"Fruity. Meaty. I'm just kidding." ~ Dude

"I like this one because it's not sugar frosting-y." ~ D

"It's hard to eat this without a glass of milk." ~ me

5. Marshal Mathers doughnut - small cake doughnut with white frosting and mini m&ms

"Pretty basic. I like that it's small." ~ D

"I agree; the most normal doughnut of them all." ~ me

6. Fruit Loops doughnut - doughnut with white frosting and Fruit Loops

"I really like this one. I like that the Fruit Loops are not super crunchy.

They feel like they've been on top of a doughnut." ~ D

7. Voodoo doughnut - man-shaped pastry with icing face, pretzel stuck in the torso like a voodoo doll and raspberry jelly filling.

"With the chocolate and raspberry - it's really good!" ~ D

Upon seeing the inside: "That's taking doughnuts to a whole new level." ~ Dude

And there you have it. We all loved the maple-bacon the absolute best. It was SO good, people. Here's a picture of D with our bounty before we dug in...

I was in a massive sugar frenzy by the end. The last time I felt like that was when I was planning our wedding and did a cupcake tasting all by myself. Whoa.

What else? I'm sure there's lots more, but it's 12:40am and I must retire. My face is getting closer and closer to the keyboard as I write. I have no doubt the two will connect in the very near future if I don't go to bed. And it's my understanding that drool and computers don't mix. Nighty-night.

4th of July = fun! fun! fun!

This weekend was awfully nice - even though it was mid-upper-90s (a little nutso for Portland). We ate out at new restaurants for breakfast both Saturday and Sunday, got a ton of unpacking done, slept the last two nights - all four of us - out in the sun room because it gets the best breeze, hung out, drank beer, continued to set-up house. We even squeezed in both a two-year-old's birthday party and a family picnic. PLUS we took the girls to watch the fireworks from one of the bridges right near where they were being let off. We had a spectacular view! They were loud but not unsafely loud. The Bug was very scared at first, but I explained to her that they were rockets just like in her Jamberry book and she immediately became intrigued. She was very attentive and watched the rest of the show carefully (while holding onto me tightly). Belly was alarmed at first, too, but after she realized that we were fine, she watched for a little while and then looked around like, "So what's next?" That's how she is - cool as a cucumber. Oh! And I made margaritas last night. So freaking good, I tell you. SO good.

You know how kids will tell you how it is? There was a five-year-old girl who was playing with Belly and the Bug in the park at our 4th of July picnic (it was a community event for families). I was helping someone move playground equipment when they started playing and as I walked up, the little girl asked if I was their babysitter. I cheerily said, "Nope! I'm their mom!" She looked at me with a very confused expression and shook her head. She asked, "How come you and their dad are white and they're black?" Ummm, what? I asked her what she meant and she repeated herself. I said, "They're not black - they just have olive skin." She totally looked at me like I was trying to pull one over on her. She dropped it, though, and went on to send my girls into absolute fits of giggles as she held their hands and helped them run faster than they've ever gone before. When we left, she gave them each a hug and a kiss and said, "I hope you have sweet dreams!" What a little cutie-pie...although I'm still confused as to why she thought the girls are black. Did she look at them?! Funny.

Cafe con leche con suelo

That would be my coffee on the floor and my favorite cup (that cannot be replaced) broken in a bunch of pieces. What you don't see is the coffee-drenched Bug who, after being told three times not to touch it and having it pushed back further than (I thought) she could reach, stretched as high as she could and LUNGED to swipe my cup off the counter. I moved quickly to strip her down and put cold, wet dish towels all over her head and chest while she screamed - mostly in fear. It was pointed out to me that she probably thought, "Shit! I broke Mom's favorite mug and now she's trying to suffocate me with this wet dish towel!" Fortunately - for both of us - I did not suffocate her and she was not burned. She DID, however, run along very obediently to sit on Time Out on the bottom step. And, for the first time ever, she did not move until she was told that she could. Hot damn I was scared and then mad! And where was Belly throughout this whole ordeal? Standing in the dining room, holding the purple Care Bear, saying, "No no no no no no no no." Good times.

Belly and The Bug