The deed is done

I actually wasn't that nervous when we got to the oral surgeon's office, most likely because of that additional Valium I took this morning. They put me in the chair, took my blood pressure, hooked me up to some electrodes, stuck some nitrous in my nose and I was already starting to drift. Dr. Auzins came in and said hello. He asked what I had for breakfast and I told him, "Valium." To which he laughed and informed me that he was going to give me the IV. And then I closed my eyes. Thirty seconds later, the good doctor informed me that he was done and that I needed to wake up to go home. Uh, what? Who? Huh? And then they were giving Dude care and feeding instructions (like I was a puppy or something) and we left. Dude informed me we were there about an hour and 15 minutes. 


I came home and slept about 4 1/2 hours. Mom has taken the girls to the park and here I am - blogging, trying to eat tapioca pudding, contemplating putting on a bib because my lower jaw is still numb and I'm spilling it down my chin and onto my shirt. I look hot.

One of the "after" documents that Dude was given says that I can put wet tea bags under the gauze and they will help with the bleeding. I tried this. My mouth was propped open so wide that I looked like I was walking around in total surprise. That lasted about four minutes.

I lined up all of my prescriptions to see what looked good: one last Valium, Percocet, ibuprofen, antibiotics and some really terrible-looking mouthwash. I think I'll save that Valium as a "Mama's little helper" for another time (I'll put it in the cupboard with my expired Xanax from when I had an MRI). If I remember correctly from when I had the girls, the Percocet makes me constipated. So...ibuprofen 600 it is. And a pack of frozen corn on my face. Have I mentioned how effing hot I look right now? I hear chipmunk cheeks are the new black and I'm runway ready.

I know this is going to get worse before it gets better, but so far it is not so bad. I mean, really, the worst part is that there is a box of Trader Joe's Roasted Gorgonzola crackers sitting a foot away from me and I can't eat them. Oh, and here's a fun-fact for the day: Did you know that tapioca and manioc and cassava are the same thing? I had no idea! All these developing countries are eating tapioca pudding as their main source of food? Had I been aware of this, I may have pushed harder for Dude and I to join the Peace Corps a few years back. I looooove tapioca.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009 | Labels: , , |

 

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