Monday was insane. I took the girls to Swap 'n Play in the morning. That was fine. They fell asleep in the truck about five minutes from home. I called Dude and asked if he'd help me carry them in to bed. We got them up there, but then Buggy woke up 15 minutes later. And she woke up Belly. I crawled in bed with them to get them back asleep, but they were being punky - goofing around, sticking fingers in my eyes and ears, popping their heads up and laughing at each other. I very calmly told them that this was nap time. If they didn't want to nap, they could read books or play with toys, but they needed to stay in their room. Mommy was going to go downstairs. They started to cry and both said, "No! Snuggle Mommy!" So everyone cuddled up again. Within 30 seconds they were doing it again. And again, I warned that I was going to go downstairs unless people wanted to sleep. It didn't stop. So I said that I was going downstairs and I'd be back in ten minutes. I got up and walked out. Both girls started SCREAMING and reaching over the gate in their doorway as I walked away. I came downstairs, but I could still hear them. So I grabbed the monitor and headed to the family room in the basement. I turned on the monitor just enough that I could see the red light "activity indicator" but not have any volume. It was maxing out over and over and over. I felt like crap. But you know what? They are two years old. They can't hang out in their room by themselves for ten minutes? What happens if they scream that whole time? Are they going to be permanently scarred? I didn't think that would be the case, so I stayed down there for ten whole minutes. The red lights never stopped going.

Exactly ten minutes later, I came back up. I could hear the screaming as I got closer but it seemed muffled somehow. What was going on up there? I walked up the stairs and turned down the hall to see Dude sitting in the hallway holding their door shut. WTF?

Dude had been sitting in his office on the phone with his business partner. He heard the screaming (seriously - the whole block probably heard the screaming), but then all of a sudden Belly was screaming a LOT closer than before. In fact, he heard her pounding on the gate at the top of the stairs. He got off the phone. Somehow, Belly had gotten over the gate in the doorway of their room (a first!). Dude returned a screaming Belly to her room with her screaming sister and went back in his office. Pretty soon, the screams were getting closer again. He went back in the hall to see Belly running down the hall and Buggy literally flipping over the gate, landing on her back in the hallway. He told them that they needed to stay in their room, took down the gate, shut the door, and quickly realized that they could easily open the door. So there he sat - sitting in the hallway, holding the door closed until I came back up.

What a disaster.

The afternoon continued with the girls doing their best to make me insane. I have no doubt they were trying to get even with me. Late in the day I remembered that I needed to reset the dehumidifier and went down to the basement for, oh, 45 seconds. I shut the door from the kitchen behind me so that no little people followed. As I was coming up the basement stairs, I heard some fumbling with the doorknob. Belly locked me downstairs. She freaking locked me downstairs. I could go out the back door and let myself in the front door, but the back door needs a key to unlock it - a key that was in the kitchen. Fortunately, I had my phone on me so I called Dude and had him let me back in.

I hear that the terrible twos got nothin' on three. Really? REALLY?? I'm not sure I'm going to make it.